for the love of courtney

the shame. sobriety introduced itself to annie (norwegian popstar) at cinespace in the form of a man-child calling itself "I'M COURTNEY LOVE", whilst i sat in the unenviable position of my own stew of dos equis. at first glance, i looked like a winner. i sat sidesaddle to this new sensation from "beergn" in the green room encouraging her out of an aftershow nerve nest, not having heard a single song. it did "appear" though, that i was her bff. unfortunately, my costume lasted less than a sentence. the ugly face of silly sotty reality reared itself without delay.
i stank, i'm quite sure of this. i reeked of self indulgence, of unawares. of one more forgotten conversation, slurred and half understood colloquy, lugubrious linguistic failures and very likely bad grammar. i was so drunk, i likely misspelled my mumblings. i bandy about the irony, oh the sweltering irony, of an abstaining courtney, front and center.. and a drowing amy. the kind of amy that would appreciate a clear and cordial memory of such a happenstance. whether court ordered or not, that drag queen did it. she managed to abstain. it is do-able. it is done. timing is once more, everything.
i looked myself up in the thesaurus:   bashed, befuddled, boozed up, buzzed, canned, crocked, drinking, drunken, flushed, flying, fuddled, gassed, glazed, groggy, hammered, high, hosed, in orbit, inebriated, jolly, jugged, juiced, laced, liquored up, lit, lush, merry, muddled, oiled, on a bun, overcome, pie-eyed, plastered, plowed, potted, seeing double, sloshed, soaked, sotted, soused, stewed, stoned, tanked, tight, tipsy, totaled, wasted, zonked.
i think it's time to redefine.
so buck up buckglitter, better tucked in and sober than wasted and wasting time, missing and still misses now. :(